Just the other day, I read a story of a man who who was seeking counseling on how to settle the friction in his family as a result of this issue. His highest educational qualification was SSCE, while the wife is a Masters degree holder. The man is a welder and from his story, he’d make provision for the family, while the wife works in one of the government ministry. The crust of the friction is that the wife suddenly said she can no longer stay with a SSCE holder!
I presume the problem the wife now has with him must have been as a result of his social status, I’m sure she must have been rolling with high class guys and she wasn’t proud of introducing a “secondarian” as her husband again.
Many have asked who educated spouse help?
Of a truth, you don’t need educational certificate to make a successful marriage, and no one can categorically say that you need a diploma/degree to make a good spouse, after all, most of our parents didn’t have a formal education yet they had a fulfilled and successful marriage.
But we need to know that times and tides has changed. The ambitions and aspirations of our parents differs from ours.
Before I lay down my views on this issue, I will like to categorically state that marry someone who suit your ambition and aspirations, because your partner is meant to be a helpmeet.
My Thought: Educational compatibility is important in the following ways:
- As helper of your dreams and aspirations. If you dream big, or see yourself standing before kings and people that matters, you will need a spouse that will compliment you. In this case, you don’t need a person with a wide educational gap. There will be times you will be stuck up with activities that you will need an intellectual assistance of your spouse to inject some ideas in you. Sometimes, he/she could be your representative if your hands are tight.
Many are men who had to marry another woman after attaining a greater height later in life and discovered that they needed a more educated wife who would be their representative. Although, I don’t support this act.
- For smooth interactions in the family. Once again, you don’t need a degree to be husband and wife, but imagine a university don marrying a village girl. I wonder how the interaction would be like in that home. Their levels of reasoning differs, so also their psychological and social way of seeing things. Probably when the man is busy with thesis that is when the wife might want them to watch TV. This might bring contention if not well managed.
- Insecurities: little thing will always cause friction, because the less educated spouse might feel intimidated or see the other person is too pompous. If the wife is the one that is more educated, the husband might be thinking she’s not submissive when she raises some opinions, and as such, he might want to force her to be submissive, which can breed contention.
If you know you’re insecure, please don’t pick a spouse that there is a wide educational distance between you.
- Social factors, whether we like it or not, the society has a way of classifying people. And education is one of the yardstick for classifying people. In an imperfect society like ours, always expect petty talks about the educational level of who you marry. Your perception in the society can even be affected.
After all these said, does it mean that people must marry someone with same educational status? The answer is NO, but the difference must not be too wide and obvious for all to see. Even when it is wide, there must be room for self improvement and furthering of their education so as to be in tandem with their spouse. Don’t be comfortable maintaining a wide academic gap with your spouse.
Many are persons who married without formal education, but still struggle to attend school after marriage.
In conclusion, marry who suits you and suits your ambition and aspirations.
Furthermore, if you know the letters of your name attached to your certificate will not enter your head, you can freely marry a person with lesser education backgrounds.
Scripted by: Collins_Joseph