Marriage, a union of two mature male and female to become husband and wife. Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled. Marriage is instituted by God himself; marriage is the oldest institution in the world.
As important as marriage is, it is surprising to know that some people do marry for wrong reasons. Just this past weekend, the news broke out of a groom who walked out on the bride right in the church where they were to be joined together as husband and wife. His reason was that he has vowed to disgrace the lady on her wedding day! Isn’t this crazy? I think it is.
Read with me to find out some of the “Wrong Reasons” why people do marry.
- Quest for Independence:
Many chooses to marry just because they want to be independent. This is common with people who were abused or raised by parents who restrict their children too much, such people sees marriage as the only escape route from whatever abuse or torture they might be facing. The quest and euphoria to get independence might push them to a wrong marriage. To this set of people, they see marriage as the only ticket to gain freedom. - Pregnancy:
Many marriages in the society today can be traced to this factor. You hear things like: you impregnated me, so you must marry me. In many societies, once a guy impregnate a girl, such a girl has become his wife automatically. Some also force them to marry just to cover shame or the stigma that she got pregnant out of wedlock. Marriage should not be contracted on the basis of pregnancy. Marriage must follow the right channel to avoid some avoidable errors. - Age:
Many guys and ladies marry because age is no longer on their side. They do this without minding some of the warning signs they may be seeing in the other partner, all they are interested in is that age is not on my side we shall settle our differences in marriage.
This remind me of the story of a couple who could barely feed themselves, yet they patch up to marry because they were aging. The mother in law had to go borrowing to meet some of their basic needs. In as much as it is good to marry when you’re young, you don’t have to force yourself into it even when things are not OK for you. - Poverty:
Some marry just to solve their financial problems. This is common among females. Some chooses to marry, not because of love for the spouse, but because they know he/she is wealthy and will be able to meet their financial needs. So many parents have forced their young daughters into unplanned marriage just because they want the man to solve their financial problems. - Lust:
Lust is one of the main reason why many people chooses to marry. They lust or crush after someone, and next thing is to marry the person without proofing the love. A story was told of a man who was lusting after a lady, the lady insisted on “No sex” till marriage. This man went ahead and oblige to the condition she gave and married her, only to divorce her after having sex with her. Isn’t this weird? Sure it is.
Take time to proof whether it’s love or lust that is pushing you into that marriage. - Pity:
Many people marry out of pity. Some marry just because they pity the condition of a person, it could be a defect or disability in the person and as a result of pity, they chose to marry the person. It is risky to marry out of pity. Marriage is too important to be entered based on pity. The day the person leave that pitiable condition, the day the love dies.
This remind me of what a lady said during a chat with her. She had a particular disease condition, she said she is looking for a man that will love her not the one that will pity her. The cord of love is stronger than that of pity. It is risky to marry out of pity. - Peer pressure:
Peer pressure, the rush of oh! My mates are married already, so I must also marry. Marrying because of peer pressure when you’re not ready for marriage is one of the wrong reasons why people marry. Marry when you’re ready not when you’re pressured to marry. - Recommendation:
Marrying a person just because he/she is strongly recommended for you, could be a wrong reason for marriage. No matter how strong the recommendations may be, if you don’t feel attracted or convinced about the person, kindly decline the recommendation so as to avoid wrong marriage. Nobody knows absolutely what you want. Marrying based on recommendations also comes with blame game especially when there is a problem between the couples. They tend to blame their differences on the person that matched them. - Beauty/physical appearance:
Marrying because of beauty can be compared to buying a house because of its paint. In as much as it is good to marry a beautiful and presentable partner, that shouldn’t be the main aim of marriage. Beauty depreciate with time, you will end in great disappointment if you marry because of beauty.
There was a man whose wife had a severe burn that damaged her face, he was asked why he didn’t leave the woman, he said “I marry her soul not her body”. Until you have this kind of conviction that you are marrying the soul of the person and not only the body, then you’re ready for marriage. Because something may deform your partner in marriage. - Inheritance:
Some marry with the aim of inheriting or sharing the asset of the spouse. Some forced themselves into a union just because of what they think they can gain from the will of the person when he/she passes on. - My pastor or prophet said he/she is my spouse:
No pastor or prophet has the right to make a choice of who to marry for you. So many conmen have misled many into wrong marriage all in the name of prophecy. You rob yourself of bliss if you still continue in a relationship where you’re seeing a great disparity and warning signs and you insist I received him/her through prophecy. - Sex:
In as much as sex is one of the major reasons for marriage, it isn’t enough to marry just because of sex. Many base their decision on marriage on sexual compatibility at the expense of other aspects of lives. Just because you do have great sexual escapade with your fornicating partner isn’t enough reason to drive you into marrying the person. Sex is not the only thing that takes place in marriage. Just the other day, I read a story where the woman was telling her husband that they have a “great sexual intimacy but btheir marriage is dying”. This shows that you can have a great sexual intimacy and yet have a failed marriage. - Fear of saying No:
Some people marry just because they can’t say no to, the spouse, their parents or the person trying to match them, either as a result of fear or respect for the person. You do yourself a great displeasure if you can’t say No to what you don’t want. - Protection:
Some see marriage as a fortress to succor them from some problems they might be facing. Some marry people with either great physical or spiritual power to defend them from troubles. People in war torn areas sees marrying a military personnel or an arm bearer as a safety measure. - Because of house chores:
Many men marry just because they can’t do house chores. You hear some men say, I need to marry so that my wife can clean the house, cook and take good care of me. My friend, if this is your reason for marriage, may I tell you that you don’t need a wife, what you need is a maid. - Marrying just to show class:
Many marry just to show class or superiority among their peers. You hear them say; do you know that you’re talking to a married woman/man? As if marriage is the only means to curry respect. - For connection:
Some marry just to get some connections with influential families. They believe that marrying from this clime or clan will help them get the necessary connections needed for business or other things. - Marrying for promotion:
Some marry just to get promotion or some certain benefits meant for only the married in their organization.
In some churches marriage is one of the criterion for getting promoted to the post of a pastor. Some bachelor who felt they have the call on them and are yet to marry would be left with no option than to rush a marriage just to meet up with the criteria. - Job/profession:
Some people cherish some profession and always desire to marry from that profession. They have this notion that I must marry from this profession, it is either this or none.
In the same vein, some had to marry either their boss or a top board member just to secure their job. - Marriage to secure green card or visa:
Many aliens living in strange countries whose stay is at risk are left with no option than to marry the citizens of the country so as to secure their visa and work permit. This has forced many young men to marry extremely older women just to ensure they are not deported from the country.
In conclusion, in order not to fall into a wrong marriage, examine yourself and know your reason for venturing into that marriage.
Credit: Collins_Joseph
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